Scream at the sky

A friend of mine shared a hearty joke with me about two weeks ago. She was at a table engaging in casual discussion with friends when out of the blue, red, orange, yellow, green and violet, someone stood up and blurted “I hate rainbows dred!!!” Response >> O_o

On this peculiar phenomenon, several friends offered their comments. Each attempted to rationalize the viewpoint of the speaker, proposing reasons as to why in the sky he would possibly grudge a rainbow. Here is my response to each:

Comment # 1: “Maybe the rainbow started it.”

Someone once said that a rainbow is the only thing that looks happy with a frown. Is this a paradox in full effect, or are we looking at the rainbow upside down? In fact, dilemmas like these, let alone, are enough to drive people crazy about anything. Look at the frowning face of a clown and what do you think? “Happy-sad”? “Sad-happy”? Or “he’s just clowning around”? Interestingly, we laugh at clowns not because they’re inherently funny, but rather because of the sheer acts of folly by which they’re marked. But one usually bears only that much folly before all mask of jest is uncovered, with nought but bare nuisance being fully exposed. We’ve all heard the irony of children physically abusing clowns after what seemed a fit of innocent laughter. In literature, folly is often met with much abuse; Wisdom being the hero here. If someone thinks of a rainbow as a downcurl of lips on a background of otherwise invisible clown facies; a mask of colour concealing but the folly of another of nature’s “happy tricks”, it’s easy to understand the open, spontaneous and adamant expression of utter abhorrence – “I hate rainbows dred!!!”. So yes, maybe the rainbow in all jest, fakery and folly did start it after all.

Comment # 2: “I thought it was dark and cynical.”

The rainbow, that is, when you first saw it right? How old were you? Like 5? Kids usually respond in cheerful awe to bright colours at that age. Then again, what you perceive and how you respond to a given colour/colour combination is largely determined by past experience, what you’ve been taught and subliminal bias engendered through culture. However, it is well recognized that some colour effects do confer a universal, psychophysical reaction. The sight of grey skies will most often trigger the “dampening” of mood, dispiriting reactions and the “hibernate” function. Bright sunshine with clear skies, by contrast, motivates, energizes and fosters a “lightening” of spirit. Now what of a rainbow stretched across a grey skyline? How you interpret what you see depends on the lens with which you bring that colour palette into focus. Is it the lens of your culture? Of a personal encounter with these colours? Of another man’s philosophy of colour? Or maybe that radical and random exuberance of colour has startled you a bit. Enough perhaps into thinking there’s gotta be something sinister shrouded behind the weight of that shine (like dentures and glistening white smiles). Conspiracies are born that way, aren’t they? Maybe the rainbow really is too good to be true. Or maybe you’re just in denial of the truth.

Comment # 3: “Maybe he’s homophobic.”

Or...chromophobic! (afraid of bright colours). We tend to fear what we least understand, and that fear itself tends to breed hatred. Maybe the verbal expression of hatred is actually based in the bare reality of the frustration he feels at being powerless to face that fear. He may furthermore fear the fact that he does not understand exactly why he’s afraid first of all! From another angle, he could be coulrophobic (afraid of clowns), perhaps due to some misadventure with an idiot in a clown outfit or similar attire (even a make-believe Santa could have been a culprit) in tender years of youth. His subsequent visual contact with any such outburst of colour, then, is likely to elicit an alerting reaction of fear twinned with reflex anger. I do acknowledge, however, that I cannot simply dismiss your train of thought. Could he be homophobic? Yes! The modern version of the “rainbow” flag, a symbol of gay pride, consists of six uniquely coloured stripes, namely (upper to lower boarder) red, mustard orange, yellow, green, indigo and violet. Red stands for “life”, orange for “healing”, yellow for “sun”, green for “serenity with nature”, indigo for “harmony” and violet for “spirit”. I shall now pause for a moment as you ponder these colours and their symbolism.
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And as I thought you would, you do agreed that the flag mentioned above indeed represents, in holistic view of all subset symbolisms, a core of human values, ideas and ideals that are much embraced universally. I’m certain that on one level or another we can all identify with these. Symbolically, then, this ought to be a theme flag of humanity – not merely gay folk. The flag stands out, nevertheless, due to its unique and conspicuous display, and functions largely as a marker for many “gay safe” or “gay friendly” establishments. The most obvious reference to the rainbow, of course, is a play on the multicultural symbolism of that coloured arch, which appears virtually everywhere in the populated world – as do homosexuals. Most non-gays have no difficulty in identifying the flag wherever it presents, but many are unaware of the fact that, symbolically, it openly embraces core elements of nature and humanity as a whole. To despise the flag, then, based solely on the identity it represents, without considering its intended symbolism is *insert cliché about baby and bath water here*. Of course, there is likely some sense of bias in that portrayal of values being etched onto a “gay flag”, as in the notion that the gay population more supremely embodies such values. Even so, the general context of symbolism can still hold. Punto final – he may be chromophobic, homophobic, or simply a hater of humanity.

Comment # 4: “Leprechauns hiding their gold.”

In a mystical sense, rainbows do beckon us onto themselves, challenging us in all ways to reach toward and beyond that arch. Of course, we never get there – that somewhere under or over the rainbow, nor can we actually grasp either end where apparently...leprechauns hide their gold. I’ve been told that leprechauns are masters of delusion – smart, devious little creatures that will do just about anything to elude your grasp. Capture one and you could be the luckiest creature alive...or unluckiest. Could swing both ways. A familiar adage – “all that glitters is not gold.” Could be silver, as someone said; even a mirage. According to Irish legend, every leprechaun has a pot of gold entrusted to them, hidden deep in the Irish countryside (today commonly understood as the poles of a rainbow). To protect that pot of gold, the Irish fairies gave them magical powers to use if ever captured by a human or an animal. Escape tactics may include the granting of 3 wishes to their captor in exchange for freedom – could go terribly wrong if the wrong decisions are made, or simply vanishing into thin air (which I suspect would be more likely). Either way, that “gold” is rather elusive. So approaching the rainbow with a stark objective of “getting that gold” is likely to breed displeasure, regret and resentment. Why not approach with a mind that’s open to all possibility of growth as opposed to instant gain? We can reach for that rainbow, still, knowing we may never make contact, but that with each step closer we pull ourselves toward and even beyond new horizons. Ask a retired gold-digger how he/she feels about leprechauns and rainbows, having lived in quest of that elusive pot of gold. If your ultimate goal is gold, you’ll come to hate the rainbow, eventually.

Comment # 5 (my comment): “He’s probably colour blind.”

Thought it might be a sort of “fox and grapes” mentality in the making, you know...grudge the beauty of that which you aren’t privileged enough to behold. But after reading the other comments, i'm less convinced that one viewpoint holds. Could be a combination of the five...who knows? Only the guy who blurted "I hate rainbows dred!". We should ask him why.